I don’t think I shared any of these photos with that many people, but I will share it with you all. The first picture above was me on my 18th birthday. Notice anything? Haha I look chubby right? Well at that time I was doing my senior project in high school, and I’m sure I’ve said it many times before what it was, so I’ll refrain myself from telling the story again. I’ve put myself through a lot to complete that project only to have fallen short and failed. At that time I neglected my health and got pretty darn sick, but I continued to put in days to finish the project.

In the second picture that was me in February 2010 two months later. By then I had gotten a lot better. I only use the two photos for comparison. Please excuse the other two in the photo, but coincidently we were matching that day…

I was thinking about this late last night, but my point is with all of this is that most of the things I have done in the past I feel like every time I try to attain something I always come up short. Putting myself through so much to finish the motor swap, to only have it fail on me.

Last year I was lucky enough to get an opportunity for an exhibition match at a bboy battle. It might have been a minuscule thing to some people, but it meant a whole lot to me. I had a strict training schedule which I diligently held to. I know for certain that all of that work I put in wasn’t for nothing, but this past Fall after practicing so diligently I wanted to ease off the pedal and work on other aspects of life. In that whole process and till this day I had secluded myself from all of my friends to try to attain my goals. You can ask any of them and they know what I did in order to get that much closer to my goals. I had cut off almost all my relationships. 

Not to sound like a big cry baby but you shouldn’t depend on anyone else to be happy, this goes for bboying too. In the past, some of the closest, and I mean closest to me, some of the guys who i’ve had a close relationship have all stopped breaking. I’ve been in a crew called Dance Floor Junkies, it was tight but after we disbanded I was the only one who kept going. I know people who say their crew is everything to them, but what about me? This journey has such been a long one, a one where I almost have to travel it alone.

Not to mention school, I wanna to do the best I can do but yet again all the effort I put in I still can’t produce the results I want.

Having said I this I don’t plan to stop anytime soon, I am no where near where I want to go. I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest.     

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Posted on Wednesday, 22 February
  1. xmichaelt posted this